Divorce Mediation Behind the Scenes: Initial Contact

First Call
Typically, one of the parties calls or emails my office asking about the mediation process. If it is a phone call, I will generally ask the person calling me to send me an email and cc their spouse  and include the spouse’s name. During this call I may answer some basic questions about mediation and will make sure that there is no conflict of interest. In order to maintain neutrality and the appearance of neutrality, it is essential to make sure that there are no prior business, social or client relationships between the parties and the mediator which might affect the mediator’s neutrality.  If there has been a prior relationship the parties and the mediator will have to determine if proceeding with the mediation would be appropriate.  In order to maintain complete transparency, I will not discuss any substantive issues or facts with only one client.

In response to an email inquiry, I will again ask the person contacting me to send me an email and cc their spouse  and include the spouse’s name.

Once I have both parties’ email, I will send an email to both parties with a link to my online calendar where they can schedule a free initial consultation. The meeting can be in person or by zoom. At that initial consult, I will explain the process of mediation and answer questions about the process, cost, timing etc.

Initial Free consultation
At the initial free consultation, I explain the process and a little about timing, the expected  cost and how long to expect the process to take. I also usually try to get some idea of what sort of issues the couple has and what sort of agreements they have already reached. I give the participants an opportunity to ask questions about the process. This usually takes between 15 to 30 minutes. I give the couple the option of starting the mediation right away stopping that day and taking some time to decide if they want to start.

If the parties want to start right away, I go over the mediation fee agreement and have them sign it ( either in person or electronically if we are meeting by zoom). If they choose to start, I begin charging them after they sign the mediation agreement. The fee agreement explains how much I charge, how they will be billed and reiterates the mediation process.

 If we start that day, I generally spend about 30-45 minutes collecting basic information like full names, date of marriage, date of separation , dates of birth, names and dates of birth of children  and I gather very basic information about their finances and where they are in the process. What have they discussed, what are the general areas of agreement? Are there areas of disagreement? And, what other information do we need to gather.

Free Informational Packet
If the participants choose to start their mediation session on another day, I email them a packet which includes information about divorce and mediation.